The Absence of Thought

Milk

I'm the tallest, lankiest, and oddest shaped person in all of my family. My known extended family includes aunts, uncles, grandparents, distant cousins, and bastard fathers. None of them are above 6 feet tall. It begs me to ask the question: where did my 77 inches manifest from? The only answer I could come up with was milk.

I've been drinking milk since I was a child and the effects have been astonishing. I have so much height – I'd rent some of it out if I could. If you saw me get out of my small car you'd think I'd attended clown college; you'd be waiting around all day for 9 other Bozo's to come through the sunroof. I've got so much height that my Mom had to tell the principal to install clearance signs all over campus, just so I could know which classes I could take. My height has never done me any good. Anybody I meet whose smaller than me always manages to find a way to look down on me.

Thanks a lot, milk.

~Anthans

Test Drive

Today I took a test drive at a Nissan dealership and received 5 free gold coins through a promotional offer. This is the conversation that took place afterwards between me, my Dad, and my sister, Mel.

Anthans: Oh hey Dad, I went to the Nissan dealership with that offer you showed me and took a test drive.
Dad: Did they give you the five golden dollar coins?
Anthans: Yeah, but I already spent four of them.
Mel: Typical.
Dad: What car did you drive?
Anthans: I drove an o'10 Altima. I figured it'd go well with my story.
Dad: What was your story?
Anthans: I said I was graduating soon from USC and that my parents were going to get me a car for graduation. I asked the salesman what he had under $30,000.
Dad: And they bought your story?
Anthans: Yeah, I think so. But now that I think about it, I think I should have driven something more stylish. Did you know that Nissan sells the Skyline in America now?
Dad: They do?
Mel: That sounds better than the Altima. Why didn't you drive that, stupid?
Anthans: Hey! Driving the Altima was still pretty cool. And it's still a big tease compared to what I currently drive.
Mel: I think any car is a big tease compared to what you drive right now.

~Anthans

Distractions

Have you ever found a little game on the internet that seems harmless to play for a couple of minutes? And then those couple of minutes turn into a couple of hours. Next you find yourself trying to pick apart what seems to be a simple game. But then you view leader boards and find some unbelievable scores! Then you begin to look up tips and strategies online, which leads to you watching walkthrough videos! Before you know it, you've wasted an entire day on a game like One Button Bob.

Don't go to this website. You've been warned

http://armorgames.com/play/5286/one-button-bob

~Anthans

Good News Bears

I don't usually have any good news to report – today is different. That is all. Good news!

~Anthans

PS Hopefully I don't MIIISSSSSS!!

Throwback Thursday: Auction Questionnaire

(Picture sorta related)

Three and a half years ago I did a favor for a friend by participating in a dating auction. I had never been in a date auction before and had no idea what to expect. This is the questionnaire I filled out at the time. Oh, I had a girlfriend at the time, too. It was for charity!

AUCTION QUESTIONNAIRE

Due August 10, 2006

All participants must answer these questions.

1. Name: Anthans
2. Where are you from: P-Town (Pomona), California
3. Age: 20
4. Occupation: Student @ USC/Campus Cruisader/Poet
5. Favorite Colors: Brown and White
6. Favorite Movie: The Wedding Crashers
7. Hobbies: Writing, Poetry, Dancing (all types), Tennis
8. Favorite food: Eggo Waffle Cereal
9. Craziest thing you have ever done: You don’t want to know, or do you?
10. Your ideal date (your Perfect Date): Dinner and dancing
11. Pet Peeves: Flaky people
12. Boxer, Briefs, or Boxer Briefs (bikini, thongs, or grannys): All at once!

I think the only that has changed is that I'm not 20 anymore. 

~Anthans

Materials

I hate to be materialistic here, but that's exactly what I'm going to be.

"Before you settle down and have a wife and kids, make sure you get all your kicks out and buy all your toys. Because once kids and pets come into your life, you're no longer #1."
-My Dad

I like fantasizing about the things I will one day own. This will of course be achieved through hard work and determination. To me, happiness and fulfillment are more valuable assets than material things. However, the feelings of happiness and fulfillment of your life's goals can't haul you down the freeway at 120 mph. Some of the things I desire are not even that exorbitant.


My Life-Mas List:


-Lotus Exige (imported from England)
-Amazing sound systems with kicking bass for upcoming cars, dwellings, and computers
-Clothes for days
-Grand Piano
-Laser eye surgery
-Every spice, utensil, pot and pan I need to cook anything from around the world
-King size bed
-Expansive assortment of hats
-Music making software/hardware
-Food for days
-Controlled temperature wine cabinet
-Private jet
-A bill of currency from every country
-Scuba gear
-Plush couches like the ones in fancy nightclubs
-A blog that more people read
-Soy bean futures

~Anthans