Showing posts with label Who Cares. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Who Cares. Show all posts

Monday, July 4, 2011

English Prison II

For various reasons, my teaching method lately has become laconic. I say what I need to say with my mouth and compensate the rest by gesticulating with meaningful gestures. If one of my coworkers ever tries to cajole me into enhancing my students' experience by speaking more, I'll base my response on my students' rudimentary understanding of the English language and how "saying less is more."

I used to be under the sword of Damocles regarding my use of Japanese at work, but not anymore! I told my boss about the exchange of words I had the other week with one of my coworkers and the tension I felt around him and she seemed to take my side. However, it was a Pyrrhic victory due to my loss in motivation at work in the recent weeks.

The tension has died died down recently between me and him. And although I'd like to, I dare not beard the lion in his den by bringing up the matter again.

My avid interest in the Japanese language can't be denied. I find the nuance in phrases like "I want to go to the bathroom" and "I want to go the bathroom (so please point me in the right direction)" fascinating. When it comes to language, I especially like to keep a vigilant watch over little things like this.

Chinese people tend to be adroit at picking up Japanese. It can mostly be explained by their prerequisite understanding of Chinese characters which are referred to as "kanji" in Japanese. I used to be irate over this but then I grew to accept it. Instead of condemning them with jealously I have instead chosen to work harder to better understand kanji myself.


Perhaps I'm intrepid for writing this, but my girlfriends helped me a great deal last week with studying, cooking, and nursing the wounds I incurred in a recent bicycle accident. Despite my unconditional admiration, one of my them is being rather reticent with her email messages lately. She doesn't accost me with any accusations, but she does insist that there are a throng of other women in my life. Am I a heartbreaker-felon-to-be?

There are a plethora of things bothering me lately. They're not troubling matters, but they can be a wet blanket when I'm out trying to enjoy myself. They're mostly matters revolving around my future career.

After ending employment with my current job I do not wish to return to the same hapless state I was in over a year ago. My original pretext for coming to Japan was to get away from the American wasteland that was consuming (and to this day still consumes) the futures of young recent 20-something graduates.
I didn't fabricate anything to my current employer, but my purpose for coming to Japan wasn't entirely made clear. In the interview I recall furtively saying "I want to bridge the gaps in understanding between Eastern and Western ideas and values. And...I'd also like to learn some Japanese."

Perhaps "some" could have been better thought out.


~Anthans

Friday, June 24, 2011

English Prison I







+: My health sitch'ation was going good for a while. I was prognosticating a newer and improved me. However, my arm has been damaged due to a recent accident. The pain is compounded by the fact that I have to work with the most stubborn person I have ever met. Today he lashed out at me indiscriminately for making too much noise with a paper cutter. I can't relate to the way he perceives things at all. 

His incessant badgering regarding the things "I'm doing wrong" had some negative effects on my +. Also, my voracious appetite is eating away at me from the inside. These are critical times.



♥: According to my personal annals, I have never experienced such a successful turn of events. It's  paradoxical how different my ♥ sitch'ation was a year ago. Tomorrow I will meet with an eminent local star who is imploring me to come see her. 

It's my dream one day to meet a matron who will welcome me into her life. I don't know why, but it steeps me with excitement. My Chinese friend told me of an affair he got involved in. I latched on to his every word from the story he told with just a tinge of jealousy.


$: The world is abound with opportunities. The realm of diplomacy is of interest to me and I will pursue it. The drudgery that I face at my current employ cannot sustain forever. This week alone has felt interminable in and of itself. Due to today's technological innovations, an automaton could do my job. 



~Anthans

Monday, March 14, 2011

just airing out some clean laundry here


clothesline.jpg


I don't know why it's bothering me so much right now, but for whatever reason I can't get over the fact that I may have ruined one of my garments: the really cool pants I bought in Tokyo.

It's a combination of factors that are causing this bothered state I'm in right now. They include:

-My new heightened interest in taking care of my wardrobe
-My attachment to a pair of pants that fit me like no others have before
-The fact that it is extremely difficult to find clothes my size in this country
-The fact that it is moderately difficult to find clothes my size in any country

The damage has been done.


Having already worn them on several different occasions I decided to throw my pants (corduroy's) into the washer a few weeks ago. I did this without any regard for the washing conditions that the pants required. After taking them out of the washer I hang dried them outside. About a day later I brought them in and hung them in my closet. At the time I didn't notice any wrinkles or blemishes. I was content.


Tonight came time to do laundry for the week. I was wearing another stylish pair of pants that I bought in the big city (Tokyo) and was just about to toss them in with my load of clothes: the only load that I usually do.

Out of mere curiosity I decided to check the washing instructions located on the inside linen of the pants. To my surprise the washing directions read, "Hand Wash 30ºC." It hadn't occurred to me before that some of the clothes that I considered to be "everyday" required special care.  To me "special care" was reserved only for "special occasions." I rarely dry clean my clothes: only suits and trousers. The very idea of dry cleaning or taking special care of my ordinary clothes was foreign. "Who has time for that?" I thought.

Upon reading the specific directions from the pants I dropped them to the floor with a gasp. I hastily tried to remember how I had treated my other stylish pants a few weeks ago but my memory circuits were firing blanks.

I ran to the closet – which was half a foot away – and violently slid open the closet door. It smashed against the wall as I slid mostly shirts to the side in search of my go-to pants: my FF9C42 corduroys.

When I located them I was disappointed; however, it was mostly in myself though.

The wrinkles were obvious. I wanted to make those wrinkles go away but the material of the pants was not to be mishandled by a home economics rookie like myself. The pants were wearable but they screamed "I don't know how to take care of myself." It was a low point in my life and I didn't know where to turn. The time was 00:05 and it wouldn't be until 9:00 the next day when the nearby dry-cleaners would open. But I wanted to solve the problem as soon as humanly possible.

Like someone who tries to self-diagnose themselves I decided to take matters into my own hands by searching the internet for answers. I searched and learned about methods for dry cleaning all different types of clothes and fabrics. I watched videos on how dry cleaning works and methods for cleaning special types of clothes at home. I got sucked into watching some infomercials about special at home dry cleaning products that seemed too good to be true. In the end I still felt empty inside.

Although my go-to pants were clean their appearance was unsatisfactory to me. I wanted to wear them again like I had worn them those four to five times before I carelessly tossed them in with the rest of my clothes. They were special to me but I didn't treat them that way.

The thought of losing something that I felt so much attachment to scared me. Perhaps the scarier side of this was the reality that I was placing so many feelings and emotions into a material item like pants.

I feel like there are many lessons to be learned from writing this. For one, my family and close friends are special to me so I'm going to try and treat them like that from now on.

~Anthans

Sunday, January 23, 2011

12:00 Day

Today I woke up at 7:30, 9:00, 10:05, and finally at 12:00. It's going to be one of those 12:00 days.

I used to time my computer usage so that I wouldn't be on the computer so much. I did this up until the end of last month. Every time I would sit down to use the computer I would put a timer on myself that would count down (from 99:00 minutes at first) until 00:00. When 00:00 would hit the alarm would sound and I would immediately force myself to turn off my computer. Everyday after that I would reduce my computer time privilege by 1:00 minute. I did this all the way until around 55:00 minutes or so. But since then I just sort of forgot about it. Mainly because I only use my computer for studying now. But alas, I sometimes still get sidetracked.

During those days the weather was less disagreeable and my spirits were higher. I was freer to go off and explore nearby cities on foot, by bicycle, or with local transportation. Due to the tundra climate my city has been experiencing this month I've been limited to the confines of my mansion and nearby area. No adventures to report on just yet. Just a lot of studying.

12:00 days never have any sort of agenda, but I'm going to try to do some meaningful things today anyway. I'm going to turn off my computer right now and see what happens.

~Anthans

Friday, January 21, 2011

High Tension



テンションが高い。

Translation: Tension is high.

The Japanese translation, which means a highness of spirits, is almost completely opposite of the English meaning . My "High Tension" title however represents the English meaning, mostly due to the high amount of stress/worry in my life right now.

For whatever reason I was suddenly overcome with lethargy today while passing out flyers for work. It must have been caused by a combination of reasons:

-the shitty ICE BOX weather
-girl drama
-the 1% uncertainty of whether or not I'll be able to take my next vacation or not in February
-the realization of my reality that I was passing out flyers for work


It almost prompted me to do something drastic like:

-Buying a new expensive toy
-Cutting my hair and trying a completely different style
-Quitting my job


However, as the night progressed I simmered down and returned to Neutral Mode.

Notwithstanding, I wish I was still in high tension mode so I could have an excuse to do something drastic like the above.


~Anthans