Sunday, February 7, 2010

Buttons, Levers, and Dials


Buttons: I love pushing 'em. We all do. Humans are fascinated with pushing buttons. I'm pushing on buttons as I type these words right now. We push buttons on our phones, in our cars, and even on the piano. That's all the piano really is: a long arrangement of buttons to push. Life is full of buttons. Even people have buttons. I'm sure you've heard somebody say, "I'm going to cut your fucking head off if you keep pushing my buttons." Of course you have. Buttons mean a lot to us. They mean so much to us that developers like Apple create devices like the stupid iPad and equip them with the capability of having an unlimited amount of buttons! See, buttons are everywhere.

Levers and switches are another hot commodity in our daily routine. The parking break, the light switch in your nook, and slot machines in Lost Wages are just a few that come to mind. I feel empowered whenever I can bring light into and out of a room. Sometimes I point or snap my fingers at the bulb as I flick the light switch. It gives you a sense of entitlement. Let's see your cat do that while snapping its paws.

Knobs and dials are another significant motif of society. If you have a car that hasn't had it's radio stolen twice before in front of your house then you probably work with a dial everyday. We have the power to control the volume on our car stereos. It's magical. Knobs and dials also tend to control mood lights, tape decks, and the settings on your favorite vibrator. The dial can be a very useful apparatus. Have you ever been listening to "urban" music in a rundown neighborhood and suddenly your car was surrounded by amiable locals? You then suddenly realized that the music you were playing was in fact the same music of the regional sea of faces around you and not music of your own heritage. Volume knob control comes in handy at a time like this. Instead of muting the music or turning off your engine you could simply fade the music down with a twist of your volume knob. It makes it sound smoother to the keen ear. This diffuses the situation of getting into any unwanted cultural exchanges. And then you tell yourself after, "that's the last time I'm going through that locality without doors on my car."

~Anthans

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Buzzer Blog


I'm 6' 5" but don't live up to the hype of my height. Kinesthetic intelligence was not integrated into my design and sports have never kept my interest for too long, or too high for that matter. I played varsity tennis in high school and have never risen to a higher level in any other sport, especially basketball. People usually approach and comment on my tall stature, and then immediately ask if I play any sports. After I tell them that I like tennis they always, always, always elude to me playing basketball. It's inescapable. They always ask. And I always reply, "Yes, I do play basketball." Shortly after I say, very softly, "but not very well."

When I step on the basketball court to play a game the opposite team always perceives me as a threat. There is no doubting this. They always talk amongst themselves or directly out loud about how everyone should watch out for me. After the game starts they commence their neighborhood court watch program and then abandon it as soon as they figure out that my tall stature was deceiving. The ball suddenly becomes stolen from me, my shots are blocked, rebounds are recovered by people who are shorter than me, and neither person on the opposite team or my own take me seriously. All the above was true until I really tried, which was just last week.

I currently play for a beginning intramural basketball team known as The Owls, and our record is 1-1. We lost our first game, 59-32 or something embarrassing like that. Not to make excuses but our team only consisted of five players, the entire game! That meant no subs and running the entire game on our own. It was a 40 minute brutal test of stamina, but somehow, we finished it.

Our next and most recent game brought us into a different scenario. The next team we were supposed to face off with was a no show. Fortunately this time however we had more than five players on our team. We decided instead to have our own 4 on 4 game and played a game until 13. That whole game I pumped out every maneuver and shot I could muster. It resulted in at least four or five points and plenty of rebounds and blocks. I was known as the LTMVP, the Losing Team's MVP. My team still lost, but nothing will summarize my actions better than the shot I took during the same time a buzzer was going off in the background. The same goes for this post. It's 11:59 PM and I'm making the buzzer shot for this daily blog to count.

~Anthans

Friday, February 5, 2010

Feel Good Ltd.



Music playlists are among the many things I love creating and naming. I have created a playlist called "Feel Good Ltd." which plays off the Gorillaz' song, Feel Good Inc., and it includes a series of songs that are uplifting and inspiring. The above song, United State of Electronica - Climb the Walls is included in that playlist. This songs snaps me out any rut I'm in. Have a listen.

~Anthans

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Throwback Thursday: Living in the Past





Here is another installment of an article I wrote for USC's Daily Trojan. It didn't make it into the paper but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be read by people. Enjoy.

Living in the Past
(circa fall semester 2006)


            It seems as if capitalist companies will always have some form of control over our lives, from the computers we use, to the cars we ride in, to the cell phones that connect us. Technology just continues to get better and better, as our reliance on it also seems to increase as well. What happens though when these products let us down and we become at the mercy of the companies that bestow them upon us as we remain helpless to abide to the terms under their contracts and warranties?

            The effect that derives from this tyranny is misery and drudgery, for in the past month or so I have been forced to live in the past. And no, I didn’t build a car that could travel back in time like from “Back to the Future” or bend the space time continuum like Hiro Nakamura from the new hit show “Heroes” on NBC, but my cell phone screen did short out on me.

            Having a cell phone without being able to see what I was dialing or who was calling me was like something out of the dark ages or life during medieval times. Their lack of enlightenment and electricity was the equivalent to my inability to see the numbers I was dialing, the calls I would receive, and the lack of saved numbers that used to be at my disposal.

            But it didn’t hit me just how much I had traveled back in time until I had started to get used to the limitations that now entrenched my phone, as I would soon find out.

How many of us can remember the good ole’ days when saying “Hello is so-and-so home?” and asking, “who is this?” were used on a regular basis?  Such phrases are outdated as we wouldn’t catch ourselves twice using them today, especially in this modern day age of cell phones and after the advent of caller ID in the mid 1990’s.

            Another retro practice I saw myself executing was the need to write phone numbers on hand, rather than being able to punch them into the address book of my once beautifully lit cell phone screen. Who still carries phone books with them these days? Certainly not myself, although maybe I should have since most people’s numbers I had acquired over the past years were never memorized but were instead stored into a database I felt I could rely on.

I was naïve to rely on technology so much.

One other difficulty that I was forced to grow accustomed to was the uncertainty surrounding my mobile phone to be able to function as a mobile. Let me explain this. Because I could no longer see my screen I was never sure whether my cell phone was charged or not, as I would constantly need to connect the charger to an outlet.

There never was a guarantee that my cell phone would be charging, for sometimes cell phone chargers break down on us as well and need to be fidgeted with. This inconvenience left my mobile phone immobile, as it constantly needed to be plugged into the wall as it left me feeling like having an ordinary house phone of which I was accustomed to having in the past.

When it comes to cell phone companies these days, it’s hard to get out of a quick fix, especially when the terms and circumstances of the agreement you made over a year ago are stacked against your favor. I was unable to change my living conditions and held to remain in the past because I was stubborn enough to wait to be eligible for an upgrade with my cell phone provider, Cingular Wireless.

            Cingular Wireless is an excellent cell phone provider; I could hardly hold them in contempt for my blasting into the past. My real scorn though is and will forever remain with Motorola. I didn’t have the popular Razr that is so often seen pressed to people’s ears on campus, but I did have a similar prone-to-breaking-down equivalent.

            I strongly advise against purchasing a Motorola cell phone to anyone in the future; their cell phone products have been known to fail on people. Common breakdowns include loss of screen image, earpiece malfunction, and faulty buttons that quite often press themselves.

            At one point in time three out of the four people who live in my apartment (including myself) had a malfunctioning cell phone; they were all Motorola.

            I have recently come out of my dark age and have again acquired the means to telecommunicate with others. I now have a Sony Erickson and have decided to permanently say goodbye to Motorola.

Their assortment of different colored phones and sleek looking products are not enough to keep me as a customer; having a phone that works is far more important than having one that is perceived as being cool.

~Anthans

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Days of the Week


A conversation I had with my sister:

Anthans: Are you sure today is Wednesday?
Mel: Yes, stupid.
Anthans: I thought it was Throwback Thursday already.
Mel: Why do you keep calling it Throwback Thursday?
Anthans: Because that's what it is.
Mel: OK, well what do you call today?
Anthans: Whack-ass Wednesday?
Mel: Haha. How about Monday?
Anthans: Mundane Monday.
Mel: Well, what about Friday?
Anthans: Fucking Friday.
Mel: (childish laughter over profanity). And Saturday?
Anthans: I refer to it as Gladurday.
Mel: Oh yeah, cause you don't want to be sad.
Anthans: Mmm hmm.
Mel: Last one, what about Sunday?
Anthans: Sunday.
Mel: Yeah, what about Sunday?
Anthans: I just said, Sunday.
Mel: That's it?
Anthans: Yeah.

~Anthans

Post Script: She didn't ask me about Tuesday. I think we all know what Tuesday is: that's Taco Tuesday! Everyone knows that.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Google Maps World Explorer


Google Maps is a groundbreaking tool (litterally). Everyone has used it at least once. It has been around since October 2004 and it has helped us reach so many of our destinations in life. What a "moving" thought.

The Google Maps you and I use today is nothing what it was 5 years ago, or for that matter, 1 year ago! I always notice whatever subtle changes Google applies to their mapping system on the first day. That's how often I use it!

On May 29, 2007 Street View was unveiled. It was a Tuesday. I remember because I was at work that day planning my escape route home. I was in traffic mode and zoomed out to check on traffic going to Sin City when suddenly I saw a little camera icon floating above Las Vegas. I clicked on the icon immediately and found myself instantly immersed in the streets of Vegas! The strip was at my 360˚ disposal. I could see the fountain in front of the Bellagio; it was the real deal. Next I found myself strolling the streets of New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and several other major cities. This was all made possible with the simple drag and drop of one little Orange Man. As the months went on more cities across the United States were photographed. When they were, I went exploring.

If you refer to the map above you will see how far Street View has come. Every so often I would check on its progress of photographing every street in America. Nevertheless, the more the blue lines continued to spread across cities, towns, and rural countryside the more my stomach began to turn. It gave me goosebumps knowing that we have colonized this entire beautiful landscape. It reminded me of poison spreading throughout the veins of an animal. Sick shit.

When Street View expanded to different countries I began checking out those places, too. See the Eiffel Tower without buying a plane ticket? I'm there. Zoom to Europe! Zoom in on France. Zoom in on Paris. Boom! Eiffel Tower. Simple. What's next? They added Japan now? Hot shit I'm there!

And with this advancement in technology I find myself getting lost in it, or rather, found. Google Maps and Street View have made our world even smaller. I have no doubt within the next few years the entire planet will be photographed. It probably won't stop there either. I imagine that the ocean depths will be charted one day as well.

~Anthans

Monday, February 1, 2010

Theasaurus Rex



The thesaurus: more people should procure one. If you don't, Theasaurus Rex will unearth you.




I get tired of using the same words over and over again. Don't you? There are many different ways we can call someone an idiot, but we tend to overlook them.


idiot
noun informal
that idiot was driving way too fast FOOL, ass, halfwit, dunce, dolt, ignoramus, cretin, moron, imbecile, simpleton.


...and that's not even including the "more informal" synonyms. 


As my Dad says, "Variety is the spice of life." I completely agree, Dad. Diversity should be applied to more than just the words in your life though. Try also applying it to the people you hang out with, meet, and date. Talking to strangers is a recreation in and of itself. How do you think I met all you people?


Theasaurus Rex is symbolic for the heterogeneity in my writing. He's constantly reminding me that there's always another way to say something. Words are a powerful tool. We tend to forget this fact because we usually can't see words, even though we use them everyday. 


I recently redrafted an essay for a job application and found myself constantly consulting Theasaurus Rex. It gave my paper a comprehensive face lift. I hope it distinguishes me from the other candidates and gets me the métier.


~Anthans