Triggers

I get my inspiration to do things from bizarre sources, namely, people I don't know very well. Friends, family, co-workers and other acquaintances who have known me for at least a year are already familiar with me and what they think I'm capable of. Close associates provide for a good support network or safe haven; however, they can never motivate me in the way a stranger or new friend can. People I have just met, or am bound to meet, hold the trigger in motivating me to explore, reexamine, and try new things in life. I have two examples to cite.

Nihongo (Japanese)

Her name is Masumi, and I'll probably never see her again.

Last summer I had a temporary job for a few weeks in West LA, very close to the Farmer's Market (FM). Everyday for lunch I ventured to the FM and tried a new cuisine. This brought me to Sushi-a-go-go, a quaint Japanese food stand. I placed my Crusty Crab Rolls order with a lovely young woman named Masumi, who appeared and sounded Japanese. My fascination with wanting to teach English overseas in Japan at the time prompted me to interact with her on a more personal level. She told me that she had just come from Japan and was studying English for the next year in America, while working part-time at the FM. When I told her about my aspirations she asked me if I knew Japanese. I thought long and hard and sincerely tried to remember if I indeed knew the language of Japanese or not. After about 15 short seconds or so, I came up with a great response and replied, "No, but I'm going to start learning it soon. Maybe even today. Hey, we should have a language exchange! I'll help you with English and you can help me with Japanese. What do you think?" She smiled, consented, and then I said, "Be right back!"

I was on my lunch break so time was stigh. I dashed to the nearby Barne's & Noble and picked up "The Everything Guide to Conversational Japanese." I paid for it in cash, which only happens when I purchase something I'm particularly proud of. I returned to Sushi-a-go-go and showed Masumi what I had just bought. She smiled, said that it was a good start, and then gave me her number. After work ended that day I dove into the book immediately. In three short days I learned how to count, introduce myself, and pronounce most of the basic Japanese phonetic sounds. I decided it was time to call Masumi and practice with her for the first time over the phone. She didn't pick up, so I left a message.

A week passed by: no return call. Another week later I called her again and left another message: no return call to this day.

Sometimes things only go as far as they go, and there's no explanation why they don't go any further. Because of Masumi I was able to launch my journey into the Japanese language. It started with learning how to speak and listen in Japanese and evolved into learning about Japanese history, applying to teach abroad programs, and learning how to read and write in Japanese. I've been in this preparation process for over 5 months now.

Thanks Masumi, I'll never forget what you've done for me.

(no subject) Blogging

This story is attributable to another girl, one I've known for almost two weeks now. I've thanked her on a couple of occasions already, but will say it once again, thanks Alex.

I used to have a daily blog. It eventually became a weekly blog, which then turned into a monthly blog. I continued curtailing the frequency of my blog to cater to my laziness until my blog no longer existed. But then, I met a girl who convinced me that I had a decent talent for writing. I only knew this girl for a few days; however, she was a newly acquired friend, so I took her compliment at face value. Her name is Alex, and her major is critical studies. After critically studying my blog she encouraged me to keep writing. We still talk.

I feel healthy writing everyday. It keeps my mind going. They say a blank mind is where the devil plays, or something stupid like that. I agree with that saying to some extent. Unoccupied minds get into mischief. As long as I continue to write my mind will always be stimulated.

I have no set goal in mind related to writing at the moment. I write only for the purpose of keeping my mind occupied, and my sanity bar filled. Despite what happens, I'm glad writing has returned to me.

~Anthans

' [ ; : & † … Symboly Amazing … † & : ; ] '

If it werent for punctuation then sentences would have no structure and would go on and on until there was no space left to write or type however they do exist and they help us add pauses during a sentence quote someone or something and ultimately end a sentence

I'm a punctuation advocate; it's a cause that means a lot to me. I donate to it every year.* Without punctuation we'd be stuck with hideous sentence structures like the introduction above.

* Donations are not made in monetary form

Whenever I can use colons and semicolons in the correct manner (and not look like a colon while doing it) I'm a happy guy. I understand now that in order for the semicolon to be effective there has to be two related independent clauses with no coordinating conjunction; I wonder what that means.

My favorite punctuation mark, which wins in both categories of appearance and sound, is the ampersand (&). I just love the way it sounds: am-per-sand. Say that a few times and let it roll off the tip of your tongue. You may notice that this isn't your everyday word. Most people I meet refer to it as the "and symbol." I cringe when I hear that. I feel almost like ampersand is some historical language and that it is losing its influence and I have been appointed to save it: the ancient ampersand. You might see it in many places, but its name always goes unmentioned. Procter & Gamble, Barnes & Noble, Ben & Jerry's, and Tiffany & Co are just a few you see on a daily basis. When someone asks what I like to do on Sunday afternoon I say, "I usually hang out at Barnes ampersand Nobles." It's a popular to way to refer to places like that, at least to me.

My second favorite punctuation symbol, winning second in the appearance category, is undoubtedly the dagger (†). The dagger is something we're used to seeing in text books and usually accompanies a chart or graph. When there is an exception to some rule in the chart like "Mark McGwire: 70 Home Runs*" an asterisk will be seen first. When a second exception occurs such as "all men are created equal†" then a dagger can be employed. It's either that or a double asterisk. But who wants to apply a double asterisk when you can use a dagger? If a third exception exists then you will see the double dagger (‡)! But that's like winning the lottery†. I've never seen a double dagger appear anywhere except when I make up my own exceptions in writing.

† Odds of winning the lottery are greater than seeing a double dagger (‡)

My last favorite punctuation symbol, winning second in the way it sounds, is the apostrophe ('). What a stunning arrangement of letters: a-pos-tro-phe. The way an apostrophe looks is sort of dull, but I like saying it. I like it when other people say it, too. If you really want to make me happy, try to fit in the word "apostrophe" into our next conversation. I might reward you‡.

‡ No actual awards will be given

~Anthans

Balance

I'm a huge fan of balance. Balance in nature, lifestyle, work & play, tightrope treachery, and the budget; but not the budget that I'm not included in. Fuck that budget.

I like to apply balance to everything in my life. For instance, my cell phone is a flip phone that has two modes: flipped up and flipped down. Throughout the day though I like to see if I can make it stay between flipped up and flipped down, or up-flipped-down. This is hard to achieve though as I've only accomplished this feat a few times. Or maybe never. I'm not too sure.

I do the same thing in my car with my turn signals. There are three modes for turn signals: left, right, and straight. Straight is between left and right, but no turn signal can be seen for it. That's the direction we go most of the time. You don't need a light to show off something you're always doing. That's why a light only comes on for left and right.

Now, back to balance. Between straight/left and straight/right there is an area of balance that I like to aim for in my car, it's called left-straight and right-straight. A turn signal light won't come on in these modes, but you'll know where you're headed, and that's all that matters. These balanced turn signals can be tricky to achieve, but with some finesse, you can attain them. It's an exhilarating feeling to know that you've fiddled with a contraption and made it do something the manufacturer didn't intend on it doing. Sometimes I do this balance trick even when I don't need to make a turn.

Ever try to balance something on your head like scissors? It's kind of a tough thing to do – and maybe even a little dangerous. I'm looking into yoga right now. Hopefully I'll become acquainted with my center of balance better. Then I can apply balance to more things throughout my day.

~Anthans

Mindless Thinking

I get most of my thinking done when my body is on autopilot. I call them "mindless activities." Such activities include, but certainly aren't limited to, washing the dishes, cutting fingernails, driving, stuffing envelopes, and watching mind numbing TV shows like Jersey Shore.

Mindless thinking; now there's an oxymoron if I ever heard one. I like it though. It makes sense to me. For some people mindless thinking is actually an accomplishment because they're so brain dead throughout the day as it is.

My mind is always zooming backwards and forwards in time. Presently I'm thinking about the future while simultaneously remembering the past.

I like to think about the origins of the universe. It's fascinating, really. I can't imagine everyone ever agreeing on the same how-it-all-began theory. Not in this lifetime at least. There is so much we don't know. We barely explored all the land-masses in the last 100 years. That's not even including the ocean depths. Forget space being the final frontier. I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's divert our attention to proving whether giant squids exist or not by exploring the ocean depths.

Occasionally there are times when my mind goes completely blank. I'll think too far ahead in my lifetime and my mind will short-circuit. It's hard to imagine the future without yourself being around. It's not in our best interest. After all, our basic instincts are to survive and replicate. Why would anyone want to waste their time thinking so far ahead like that? I don't know.....but my mind just blew another fuse.

~Anthans

Feeling of Renewal

I just heard a song of hope. It's called Need You Tonite by Mylo. You definitely need to listen to this song to know what I'm taking about.

Last weekend I did a lot of things I'm not accustomed to. Riding on a motorcycle with my good friend through LA, drinking alcohol, and eating vegan are just a few things that come to mind. If I had known the restaurant I was going to was vegan then I probably would not have ordered from there in the first place. But once I came up to the counter of M Cafe and ordered the Tuna Burger I was told at the point of transaction that I was in a vegan haven. The cashier encouraged me to try it out, so I did.

At first my body rejected the food. It wasn't used to it. I only finished half of my burger which is rare because usually I finish all my food plus the remaining food of anyone nearby (preferably strangers). As I struggled with wolfing the burger down my friend kept trying to sell me on how purified I would feel after eating it. Boy was he right, and boy was I dumb.

The next morning, my body felt completely renewed. A strong new pulse ran through my entire body. I felt like anything was physically possible. On top of that, I still had another half of sandwich to ingest and feel rejuvenated from. After eating that my body felt a body high it has never felt before. This is how I explained the feeling to my friends that morning.

"It feels like my entire body is asleep. That's how good I feel."

Like Southern California, I myself was in a drought before the rain came this week: a Download Drought. I had no new music in my life to keep me going. No soundtrack to play in the background as I made history for myself. Nothing to remember this era of my life that I'm currently in. For two weeks I rode the train to a job that wouldn't even last to the end of the month. I don't have an Mp3 player so I don't listen to music everywhere I go. Music was not allowed at work. And by the time I came home I was too tired to explore any new music avenue. The mute button was on in my life.

Mylo - Need You Tonite. There aren't many lyrics in this song, which are the types of songs I usually generate towards. It brings me out of whatever kind of funk I'm in. I found it by cruising through related videos on Youtube. I can't remember where I started but somehow I ended up on this song. It's nice when things happen like that. Just let yourself go. Preplanning can be overrated. I personally think planning is something society made up. No other organism plans its life out; they follow their instincts. My instincts led me to this song. I wonder where they'll take me tonight.

~Anthans

Another Throwback

When I look at things I wrote more than a year ago it mollifies me to see that my writing style has improved. I'm still working on using words correctly. But flow-wise I think my story telling skills have seen some updraft. The key to improving on anything is to do it frequently, preferably everyday.

This next piece is another article that was left out of USC's daily newspaper, The Daily Trojan, circa 2006. I won't ruin its premise, just read it. You may knowtice that my use of words has changed as well. See? I make up my own now.

Living in the Past

It seems as if capitalist companies will always have some form of control over our lives, from the computers we use, to the cars we ride in, to the cell phones that connect us. Technology just continues to get better and better, as our reliance on it also seems to increase as well. What happens though when these products let us down and we become at the mercy of the companies that bestow them upon us as we remain helpless to abide to the terms under their contracts and warranties?

The effect that derives from this tyranny is misery and drudgery, for in the past month or so I have been forced to live in the past. And no, I didn’t build a car that could travel back in time like from “Back to the Future” or bend the space time continuum like Hiro Nakamura from the new hit show “Heroes” on NBC, but my cell phone screen did short out on me.

Having a cell phone without being able to see what I was dialing or who was calling me was like something out of the dark ages or life during medieval times. Their lack of enlightenment and electricity was the equivalent to my inability to see the numbers I was dialing, the calls I would receive, and the lack of saved numbers that used to be at my disposal.

But it didn’t hit me just how much I had traveled back in time until I had started to get used to the limitations that now entrenched my phone, as I would soon find out.

How many of us can remember the good ole’ days when saying “Hello is so-and-so home?” and asking, “who is this?” were used on a regular basis? Such phrases are outdated as we wouldn’t catch ourselves twice using them today, especially in this modern day age of cell phones and after the advent of caller ID in the mid 1990’s.

Another retro practice I saw myself executing was the need to write phone numbers on hand, rather than being able to punch them into the address book of my once beautifully lit cell phone screen. Who still carries phone books with them these days? Certainly not myself, although maybe I should have since most people’s numbers I had acquired over the past years were never memorized but were instead stored into a database I felt I could rely on.

I was naïve to rely on technology so much.

One other difficulty that I was forced to grow accustomed to was the uncertainty surrounding my mobile phone to be able to function as a mobile. Let me explain this. Because I could no longer see my screen I was never sure whether my cell phone was charged or not, as I would constantly need to connect the charger to an outlet.

There never was a guarantee that my cell phone would be charging, for sometimes cell phone chargers break down on us as well and need to be fidgeted with. This inconvenience left my mobile phone immobile, as it constantly needed to be plugged into the wall as it left me feeling like having an ordinary house phone of which I was accustomed to having in the past.

When it comes to cell phone companies these days, it’s hard to get out of a quick fix, especially when the terms and circumstances of the agreement you made over a year ago are stacked against your favor. I was unable to change my living conditions and held to remain in the past because I was stubborn enough to wait to be eligible for an upgrade with my cell phone provider, Cingular Wireless.

Cingular Wireless is an excellent cell phone provider; I could hardly hold them in contempt for my blasting into the past. My real scorn though is and will forever remain with Motorola. I didn’t have the popular Razr that is so often seen pressed to people’s ears on campus, but I did have a similar prone-to-breaking-down equivalent.

I strongly advise against purchasing a Motorola cell phone to anyone in the future; their cell phone products have been known to fail on people. Common breakdowns include loss of screen image, earpiece malfunction, and faulty buttons that quite often press themselves.

At one point in time three out of the four people who live in my apartment (including myself) had a malfunctioning cell phone; they were all Motorola.

I have recently come out of my dark age and have again acquired the means to telecommunicate with others. I now have a Sony Erickson and have decided to permanently say goodbye to Motorola.

Their assortment of different colored phones and sleek looking products are not enough to keep me as a customer; having a phone that works is far more important than having one that is perceived as being cool.

~Anthans

Movie Mode

Movies: they shape our lives in so many ways. Movies provide us with values, stories, a sense for history, entertainment, education, fantasies, and a means of escaping your job as the guy who picks up the shit after a horse on parades. Whatever it may be, movies serve us all in different ways.

For me movies have always been a way to see the world differently. In Movie Land (for lack of a better name) the only perspectives you see are the important ones: the ones that move the story forward. You could be in the head of the hero, the villain, and the audience all at the same time. Cuts, special effects, and editing make this possible. In Real Land that's not possible. The only visual perspective you have is your own. We see what our eyes see. Nothing more. But if you're creative, delusional or have the tendency to let your mind wander then you might have multiple perspectives going on at one time. I call this "Movie Mode."

So here I am, typing away on my computer, seeing the words that are being typed in front of me. The second I go into Movie Mode I can see a montage sequence developing. A series of fast cuts and motion blurs start to occur that make the cumbersome process of writing a blog pass by at a fraction of the time. In my mind I can see myself from a third-person perspective, body hunched over on my desk, baring the soft glare from the computer screen. Now comes the music. Some fast techno/new age melody will do. This ties well with my fast montage scene of typing a blog really fast. The words are just coming to me. What really takes 15 minutes is being cut down into 15 seconds!

And before I know it I'm sitting at my desk, satisfied – relieved. The blog is finished. And then there's a cut scene to me clicking on the "Publish Post" button and the blog goes online.

Fade back to Real Land.

~Anthans