Milk

I'm the tallest, lankiest, and oddest shaped person in all of my family. My known extended family includes aunts, uncles, grandparents, distant cousins, and bastard fathers. None of them are above 6 feet tall. It begs me to ask the question: where did my 77 inches manifest from? The only answer I could come up with was milk.

I've been drinking milk since I was a child and the effects have been astonishing. I have so much height – I'd rent some of it out if I could. If you saw me get out of my small car you'd think I'd attended clown college; you'd be waiting around all day for 9 other Bozo's to come through the sunroof. I've got so much height that my Mom had to tell the principal to install clearance signs all over campus, just so I could know which classes I could take. My height has never done me any good. Anybody I meet whose smaller than me always manages to find a way to look down on me.

Thanks a lot, milk.

~Anthans