Sordid America

The above title was written rather brashly. Read through the lines and you'll understand why I chose it. It is by no means a scurrilous attack on my own birth country. I only mean to promulgate some positive aspects of another culture.

Success used to intimidate me; however, I'm not afraid of it anymore. I'm still in no position to scoff at it though. I'd be grateful to embrace a career in writing or something creative one day. That's why I'm forcing myself to write more these days.

I can usually find solace in writing but right now it's not working. In fact, right now I'm almost disdaining it. This is my own personal writing but for some reason it feels like an obligation. I could never write in that kind of condition. It reminds me of writing something for school. I'm used to typing all the things on my mind in a frenzy...there must not be a lot on my mind right now then.

I digress. I will give myself Hobson's Choice and see to it that this entry is written to completion.


Japan

There's a raising concern regarding the increasing number of elderly people in Japan. Not a bad problem to have, seeing as how Japan has the highest longevity rate in the world (82.6 years). This is the land where it's not uncommon to see a herd of octogenarians bicycling around together on a calm sunny summer day. Happiness is a tangible product that you can see written all over their faces.


If you go to a bar or club in Japan the chances that you will encounter a belligerent drunkard are slim to nil. You'll never see a punch let alone a feint thrown your way by anyone. Therefore, there is no need to hire bouncers whose sole responsibility is to castigate those who get out of line with being chivalrous. Nobody tries to belittle each other or rule the roost here. In fact, in most facets of daily life you will rarely ever meet anyone of pugnacious character. If you try to throw down the gauntlet with an adversary you will appear as a fool.

Even homeless people – the dregs of society – are civil. Their card board box homes that I saw with my own eyes in Tokyo are of a neat and tidy fashion. When they're not occupying their humble abodes they can be found peacefully drinking sake with each other in the park. While feeling no pain they talk amongst each other in a pleasant manner.


Every time I curl my right arm I can see what used to be a nasty laceration on the back of my forearm. This scar, caused by a careless biking accident, set me back about a month in physical training. While I was recovering I lost about 10 pounds. However, I was fortunate to have Japanese women in my life who took care of me with alacrity.


~Anthans

Mind Prison

To wrest my mind from this reality is impossible.

My lackluster performance at work has gone unnoticed for too long. Somebody will say something sooner or never.

I used to make caustic comments directed towards one of my coworkers but he was too low in the gene pool to recognize that he was being insulted.

I am loath to tolerate the winter. I relish the summer.

「夏の時に、ワンナイトラブいっぱいある！」Natsu-no toki ni, wan naito rabu ippai aru! = During the summer there are many one night love opportunities!

I'm getting away with too many things lately. Therefore, I'm awaiting the day a reprimand will come my way. I always see it in my nightmares, too.

Looking forward to the days when an incipient success may begin.

Maybe I'll become famous for something notorious: perhaps I'll become infamous.

It's been a while since I was duped by anyone. The Japanese people have been very good to me.

I went to an amusement park last week that had about as many park attendees as there were employees: somewhere around 15. There was no need to jostle to get from one broken attraction to the other.

I inadvertently fell in love last week.

The atmosphere at work has ceased to be an ominous one.

I used to repudiate any accusations that I was involved with multiple women. Now I just let people say what they're going to say.

My hair used to bristle around one of my coworkers. As long as I keep having the weekends that I'm having there will be no need for that anymore.

His voice still becomes tremulous whenever he attempts to engage me in an argument. Last time his eyes became bloodshot red. I had never seen anything like it before. It was almost as if he was about to cry.

Those talks have come to a cessation.

I escaped my English Prison at work today as my schedule stipulated me to teach only one class. Hallelujah.

One of my favorite euphemisms is "lady of the night."

I hope I don't have to send condolences back home should anything happen to Mrs. Kitty while I'm all the way across the Pacific Ocean.

Life is far from mundane if you want it to be.

My love life is incongruous at the moment. Is that how it ought to be in order for my mind to be preoccupied by something?


~Anthans

English Prison II

For various reasons, my teaching method lately has become laconic. I say what I need to say with my mouth and compensate the rest by gesticulating with meaningful gestures. If one of my coworkers ever tries to cajole me into enhancing my students' experience by speaking more, I'll base my response on my students' rudimentary understanding of the English language and how "saying less is more."

I used to be under the sword of Damocles regarding my use of Japanese at work, but not anymore! I told my boss about the exchange of words I had the other week with one of my coworkers and the tension I felt around him and she seemed to take my side. However, it was a Pyrrhic victory due to my loss in motivation at work in the recent weeks.

The tension has died died down recently between me and him. And although I'd like to, I dare not beard the lion in his den by bringing up the matter again.

My avid interest in the Japanese language can't be denied. I find the nuance in phrases like "I want to go to the bathroom" and "I want to go the bathroom (so please point me in the right direction)" fascinating. When it comes to language, I especially like to keep a vigilant watch over little things like this.

Chinese people tend to be adroit at picking up Japanese. It can mostly be explained by their prerequisite understanding of Chinese characters which are referred to as "kanji" in Japanese. I used to be irate over this but then I grew to accept it. Instead of condemning them with jealously I have instead chosen to work harder to better understand kanji myself.


Perhaps I'm intrepid for writing this, but my girlfriends helped me a great deal last week with studying, cooking, and nursing the wounds I incurred in a recent bicycle accident. Despite my unconditional admiration, one of my them is being rather reticent with her email messages lately. She doesn't accost me with any accusations, but she does insist that there are a throng of other women in my life. Am I a heartbreaker-felon-to-be?

There are a plethora of things bothering me lately. They're not troubling matters, but they can be a wet blanket when I'm out trying to enjoy myself. They're mostly matters revolving around my future career.

After ending employment with my current job I do not wish to return to the same hapless state I was in over a year ago. My original pretext for coming to Japan was to get away from the American wasteland that was consuming (and to this day still consumes) the futures of young recent 20-something graduates.
I didn't fabricate anything to my current employer, but my purpose for coming to Japan wasn't entirely made clear. In the interview I recall furtively saying "I want to bridge the gaps in understanding between Eastern and Western ideas and values. And...I'd also like to learn some Japanese."

Perhaps "some" could have been better thought out.


~Anthans

English Prison I

+: My health sitch'ation was going good for a while. I was prognosticating a newer and improved me. However, my arm has been damaged due to a recent accident. The pain is compounded by the fact that I have to work with the most stubborn person I have ever met. Today he lashed out at me indiscriminately for making too much noise with a paper cutter. I can't relate to the way he perceives things at all. 

His incessant badgering regarding the things "I'm doing wrong" had some negative effects on my +. Also, my voracious appetite is eating away at me from the inside. These are critical times.

♥: According to my personal annals, I have never experienced such a successful turn of events. It's  paradoxical how different my ♥ sitch'ation was a year ago. Tomorrow I will meet with an eminent local star who is imploring me to come see her. 

It's my dream one day to meet a matron who will welcome me into her life. I don't know why, but it steeps me with excitement. My Chinese friend told me of an affair he got involved in. I latched on to his every word from the story he told with just a tinge of jealousy.

$: The world is abound with opportunities. The realm of diplomacy is of interest to me and I will pursue it. The drudgery that I face at my current employ cannot sustain forever. This week alone has felt interminable in and of itself. Due to today's technological innovations, an automaton could do my job. 

~Anthans

just airing out some clean laundry here

I don't know why it's bothering me so much right now, but for whatever reason I can't get over the fact that I may have ruined one of my garments: the really cool pants I bought in Tokyo.

It's a combination of factors that are causing this bothered state I'm in right now. They include:

-My new heightened interest in taking care of my wardrobe
-My attachment to a pair of pants that fit me like no others have before
-The fact that it is extremely difficult to find clothes my size in this country
-The fact that it is moderately difficult to find clothes my size in any country

The damage has been done.


Having already worn them on several different occasions I decided to throw my pants (corduroy's) into the washer a few weeks ago. I did this without any regard for the washing conditions that the pants required. After taking them out of the washer I hang dried them outside. About a day later I brought them in and hung them in my closet. At the time I didn't notice any wrinkles or blemishes. I was content.


Tonight came time to do laundry for the week. I was wearing another stylish pair of pants that I bought in the big city (Tokyo) and was just about to toss them in with my load of clothes: the only load that I usually do.

Out of mere curiosity I decided to check the washing instructions located on the inside linen of the pants. To my surprise the washing directions read, "Hand Wash 30ºC." It hadn't occurred to me before that some of the clothes that I considered to be "everyday" required special care.  To me "special care" was reserved only for "special occasions." I rarely dry clean my clothes: only suits and trousers. The very idea of dry cleaning or taking special care of my ordinary clothes was foreign. "Who has time for that?" I thought.

Upon reading the specific directions from the pants I dropped them to the floor with a gasp. I hastily tried to remember how I had treated my other stylish pants a few weeks ago but my memory circuits were firing blanks.

I ran to the closet – which was half a foot away – and violently slid open the closet door. It smashed against the wall as I slid mostly shirts to the side in search of my go-to pants: my FF9C42 corduroys.

When I located them I was disappointed; however, it was mostly in myself though.

The wrinkles were obvious. I wanted to make those wrinkles go away but the material of the pants was not to be mishandled by a home economics rookie like myself. The pants were wearable but they screamed "I don't know how to take care of myself." It was a low point in my life and I didn't know where to turn. The time was 00:05 and it wouldn't be until 9:00 the next day when the nearby dry-cleaners would open. But I wanted to solve the problem as soon as humanly possible.

Like someone who tries to self-diagnose themselves I decided to take matters into my own hands by searching the internet for answers. I searched and learned about methods for dry cleaning all different types of clothes and fabrics. I watched videos on how dry cleaning works and methods for cleaning special types of clothes at home. I got sucked into watching some infomercials about special at home dry cleaning products that seemed too good to be true. In the end I still felt empty inside.

Although my go-to pants were clean their appearance was unsatisfactory to me. I wanted to wear them again like I had worn them those four to five times before I carelessly tossed them in with the rest of my clothes. They were special to me but I didn't treat them that way.

The thought of losing something that I felt so much attachment to scared me. Perhaps the scarier side of this was the reality that I was placing so many feelings and emotions into a material item like pants.

I feel like there are many lessons to be learned from writing this. For one, my family and close friends are special to me so I'm going to try and treat them like that from now on.

~Anthans

A Poem that doesn't Rye

I like life

Life is fun

Through all the strife

I'm still just one

Tonight I ran home in the snow

Most people would cast this off as annoying

But I enjoyed it on the go; I wish I was bboying(insert period here)


I have the freedom to do whatever I want,

That is the greatest good,

This next line doesn't rhyme either,

who cares.


I may not be the most favored,

popular,

or rich person in the world,

yet I'm still able to find my favorite parts in it, its richness, and remain in the population.


Tomorrow I'm embarking on a new adventure with new people.

I met a Chinese duder. He's cool.

My Chinese adventure begins tomorrow.

Preparation is key. Some energy I'll need to borrow.


I triple press "return" between unrelated thoughts,

I now have three cooking pots.


I don't want this life thing to end, but I know its inevitable.

Until then, I'm going to try to level up!


~Anthans


P.S. There was no Rye in this Poem

Headache

Warning: I'm going to be using the pronouns "I" "my" and "me" a lot in this post.

The more exciting life becomes, the more frequent the headaches are.

Not to toot my horn *toot toot*, but my life is far from boring. I work hard everyday and get rewarded accordingly. This works to my favor in most aspects of life, but it doesn't for one of them: girls & dating.

I used to think that I knew what I was doing with the women in my life, but recently I've gone astray. These days I've been settling, shooting lower, and worst of all, coming up short. I really should follow my own advice, particularly the advice I give to my students:

"Don't aim for this score [on the test], you can do better. Shoot for the moon so that way if you miss, you'll at least land somewhere in the clouds. To be above the clouds is to be on top of the world."

I wrote a post last year about how you should always follow your plan A. If Plan A goes awry then resort to plan B, which would then become your new Plan A. Only do this though if you gave your full effort to make plan A come into fruition.

My old Plan B is now my new Plan A. I have accomplished my Plan A. So what's next?

Another New Plan:

-?t?? ?e??l?ng
-G? ???er ???? I ?an? [wha? ? ??a?y ??nt] b?? ?ak? ?t ?ee? li?e ?he ?pp????? i? h?????ing
-?a?e s?a?????s
-??n't b? a ??s??, g?? ????y

Fight!

~Anthans

Anthans' Anecdotes: Issue 2: Steamed Glovables

Are you familiar with the story of the mouse that churned milk into butter? It goes like this.

One day in a barn some mice fell into a churn of milk. They all tried to escape from the churn of milk but it was hopeless. All of the mice gave up after fatigue from swimming and perished: all except for one. 


This one mouse was determined to be freed from his milk prison so he continued to persevere. The odds for his survival were slim, but after a while the mouse had kicked enough milk around that he was able to turn it into butter. Eventually the butter became hard enough to be used as a bridge to the top of the milk churn and so the mouse triumphed.


I have a similar story, but mine involves a glove and steamed vegetables. Have a read.

Due to the oo-yuki 大雪 – which litterally translates as "Big Snow" – we've been having in the countryside of Japan lately I decided to take the bus home from work tonight. I caught it from the shopping mall center and rode it with one of my coworkers. As we chatted along the way in Japanese and English I suddenly noticed that I was only wearing one glove on my hands. "I ain't Michael Jackson!" I said out loud. Where's my other glove?!


I scrambled to find my glove all over the bus, but it was nowhere to be found. Boy, am I dumb" I said to myself, but I'm sure everyone on the bus heard me somehow. I got off the bus near my apartment and ran all the way back to the original bus stop from where I was picked up.


A walk that would have ordinarily taken 25 minutes from my apartment to my work took me only about 10 minutes via running-feet. I ran for most of the way because I was determined to be united with my other glove. Having only one glove in a snowy city would be like having one hand in a clapping contest (do they still have those??).


When I arrived at the shopping center I started to retrace my steps, all the way back to the point before my departure. But I didn't need to go that far back in time, because lo and behold, there my lonely glove sat on the cold winter floor just outside the entrance of the store. I held its mate up to my face just to double check if they were indeed a pair. After closer examination I determined that... [beat 1]... [beat 2]... [beat 3]... it was the OTHER glove!


Now that I was back where I started, out of breath, and down ¥190, I decided to make something positive out of this whole inconvenient sitch'ation. 


I had always been wanting to steam vegetables for home cooking; however, I hadn't found the time or convenience to purchase the means to do it. Oh and I was lazy, too. I found a steamer pot for the right price at the department store I was at and decided to buy it on the spot. Afterwards I went to the adjacent supermarket and purchased a potato, a spear of broccoli, and a carrot. After walking all the way back to my apartment in a snowstorm I began to steam the potato and some of the broccoli. When they finished they had an excellent texture and a fresh taste while simultaneously maintaining many of their nutrients. It was a splendid 12:30 AM snack.

And that's how I turned a missing glove into steamed vegetables.


~Anthans

I know why the troubled man keeps his head up

One cliche that gets thrown around a lot is, "Keep your head up." People say this to someone when they look sad or upset about something. The effectiveness in this overused saying lies in its ability to motivate people to stay positive.

Others expressions like this include:

"Look at the bright side."
"The beginning is always today."
"Things turn out the best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out."

I normally don't have anybody around to tell me these uplifting things so I have to tell them to myself.

While returning home from work tonight I couldn't help but keep my head in a 45 degree angle facing downward. The temperature was 0˚C so I had my hood up, but something was also troubling me. It's not so important what was troubling me. More importantly I wondered why it was troubling me.

Noticing myself that I hadn't looked up once since venturing on foot back to my apartment, I decided to pause in the midst of my tracks. Under the furry hood of my Korean jacket I tilted my head up to see if the stars had come out to play tonight. My visibility was hindered by my hood so I couldn't see much. I wanted to see more but I didn't want to lose the warmth it was providing me. Comfort aside I decided to push up the hood fully with my umbrella until I was de-hooded. And there I saw, the Big Dipper.

I stood in awe at its awesomeness: it's majestic twilight. I watched it, or rather saw it, for at least a few minutes. In those few minutes I was transported away from all the menial and trivial matters that were infesting my life. It made me realize something profound.

My subconscious streamline of thoughts:

["Wow, when you think about it all, everything that lies before us is so meaningless, yet at the same time ultimately precious. These moments in which I think and ponder about life are the ones that mean the most to me.

The bigger dipper is so far away. The universe is so vast. Is it infinite or finite?

It's 0˚C weather right now but it's just a bunch of neurons going off in my brain right now telling me that it's freezing. I'm diverting maximum CPU to Pondering Mode.

That's better. Now, where was I? Oh, I'm still standing here? But what for? I need to go home and prepare dinner so that way I can continue to be alive and healthy. I'm still trying to enjoy this Life thing."]

End Subconscious Transmission

Conclusion: When you keep your head up you see more than just your feet and your surrounding environment. It snapped me right out of the funk that I was in.


~Anthans

What are you SUPER saiyan?

Gohan and Goku may look relaxed here, but they are actually actively training for their next battle with the foe, Cell.


I'll never forget how much power I was drained of the first night I spoke in three languages.

It was back in June of last year and I had just moved to Japan. My Japanese was subpar at the time but one night I somehow found myself being invited to one of the local clubs by a group of Japanese girls. Once we arrived I met a variety of other people, including other foreigners. One of the groups I began a chat with didn't respond in either Japanese or English, but rather Spanish.

I hadn't spoken Spanish in months, maybe year, but there I was trying to communicate in my father tongue.


"¿De dónde eres? ¿Verdad? ¿Cuál parte? ¿Soy de Los Estados unidos pero vivo en Japón."

「何がおすすめですか。ジントニックか。好きな飲み物だよ！ちょっと待って、頼もうと思う。」

"Hey, where's the restroom?"

"¿Te gusta Japón?"

「写真を撮りましょう！」

"En el futuro quiero estudiar in España. Hay muchas fiestas en España. ¿Qué no?

「その彼女と喋りたいんですが、私の日本語はちょっと。何をするべき？」

"Is it OK to go out and come back in? I need to breath outside!"


And so the night continued to progress in this manner.

Now, let's return to the above related picture.

If you're not familiar with the Dragon Ball Z series here it is in a nutshell. It's a group of fighters who are always training and powering themselves up to try and beat their next foe, usually from another planet or galaxy. Two of the main characters, Goku and Gohan, can transform themselves into powerful angelic beings called Super Saiyans. When they first discover this ability they are new to it and have a hard time controlling and understanding it. For them to go in and out of Super Saiyan mode requires a large amount of energy.

In order to beat their next super opponent Goku and Gohan learn to maintain their energy levels while continuously being in the state of a Super Saiyan. They do this even while taking a nap in the grass. By carrying out their day like this they are able to maintain their strength levels so that they can be ready for battle at the drop of a hat. This is an ingenious strategy: one that I've tried to adopt for myself.

I used to babble on about how one day I was going to know five languages in the future. Truth be told I couldn't foresee it happening on my own. I imagined that one day I would just wake up and magically be able to spit out five national anthems in five different languages out of nowhere. Unfortunately though nothing that awe-inspiring could take place overnight. I've realized now that it's going to take a lot of work. And that work has already begun.

Everyday I read Spanish news on my computer, teach English at work, study Japanese throughout the day, and just recently I started to learn Chinese pronunciation. I'm doing these things daily so that I won't be drained in the future when I have to switch between speaking five [possibly more] languages that all have different pronunciation, grammar, sentence structure, intonation, formalities, and tenses.

~Anthans

12:00 Day

Today I woke up at 7:30, 9:00, 10:05, and finally at 12:00. It's going to be one of those 12:00 days.

I used to time my computer usage so that I wouldn't be on the computer so much. I did this up until the end of last month. Every time I would sit down to use the computer I would put a timer on myself that would count down (from 99:00 minutes at first) until 00:00. When 00:00 would hit the alarm would sound and I would immediately force myself to turn off my computer. Everyday after that I would reduce my computer time privilege by 1:00 minute. I did this all the way until around 55:00 minutes or so. But since then I just sort of forgot about it. Mainly because I only use my computer for studying now. But alas, I sometimes still get sidetracked.

During those days the weather was less disagreeable and my spirits were higher. I was freer to go off and explore nearby cities on foot, by bicycle, or with local transportation. Due to the tundra climate my city has been experiencing this month I've been limited to the confines of my mansion and nearby area. No adventures to report on just yet. Just a lot of studying.

12:00 days never have any sort of agenda, but I'm going to try to do some meaningful things today anyway. I'm going to turn off my computer right now and see what happens.

~Anthans

High Tension

テンションが高い。

Translation: Tension is high.

The Japanese translation, which means a highness of spirits, is almost completely opposite of the English meaning . My "High Tension" title however represents the English meaning, mostly due to the high amount of stress/worry in my life right now.

For whatever reason I was suddenly overcome with lethargy today while passing out flyers for work. It must have been caused by a combination of reasons:

-the shitty ICE BOX weather
-girl drama
-the 1% uncertainty of whether or not I'll be able to take my next vacation or not in February
-the realization of my reality that I was passing out flyers for work


It almost prompted me to do something drastic like:

-Buying a new expensive toy
-Cutting my hair and trying a completely different style
-Quitting my job


However, as the night progressed I simmered down and returned to Neutral Mode.

Notwithstanding, I wish I was still in high tension mode so I could have an excuse to do something drastic like the above.


~Anthans

???

"Hmmm...."

I thought as I stood in my kitchen, trying to remember, as if it were a part of some world agenda, what the current ringtone of my cellphone was. Back in America I always knew what it was because I would receive a call at least once a day.

Here it's not uncommon for me to receive 0 phone calls in a week.

I'm blank.

~Anthans


P.S. People in Japan email (text) each other other 10x more than they call each other. So don't feel too bad for me. It's probably because they're all thinking the same thing: "Too 'spansive!"

Reindeer Games

"No matter how hard you try son, you're never going to fit in." -Momma

Out of the 127,000,000 or so people living here in Japan only about 1.5 million are foreign residents. That's about 1.2%. I wonder how the other 1,499,999 people are dealing with this fact right now.

The only time I ever see foreigners is in big cities. I can only go to big cities during my vacation time. My vacation time is scarcely limited. Ergo I'm always being stared at on a daily basis. 

The most priceless reaction I get is from children. They look up at me like I'm some monolith erected by aliens. This only further entices me to interact with them. If they stare at me long enough I like to lock in on their eyes and stare back with the most ridiculous look on my face. I always win but sometimes it's by default because their parents drag them away from the strange foreign man.

At work I'm not allowed to join in any reindeer games. If I want to play then I have to speak English. Meanwhile, everyone is laughing up a storm over something someone said (in Japanese) and I'm practically forced to pretend like I don't understand. It's despicable.

Just wait, one foggy Christmas Eve will come and Santa will come to say...

~Anthans

Don't Snow on my Parade

すごい大雪ですね。

Really big snow huh?

This is the phrase on the tip of everyone's tongue around here. I can't stand it.

As an alien living in another country (and under strict contract stipulations) I am not allowed to purchase or own a car. I wonder if I can rent one though... Anyway, I feel the time has come to seek out those who have cars!

Actually, I don't really miss driving that much. But I do miss riding my bicycle! Snow is annoying and it's dangerous to go anywhere via any means of transportation. Safty first right?

The snow isn't supposed to stop falling until February. Until then I'm just going to be gay and study at my mansion*.


*mansion: the term used for apartment in Japan

Love,

~Anthans