Throwback Thursday: This must be the "Macaroni Poem"

Opportunities come our way in unexpected forms. For example, four years ago I came across a Kraft Macaroni & Cheese box with a contest for kids on the back. It was a contest to find "the cheesiest" kid in America and kids could enter by writing of a poem centered around this theme. "Hmm," I thought. "That sounds like something I can do." But then I read the age requirement and saw that I was too late to enter by about four years: the age limit was 15. But then I remembered that I had a younger sister who was 14 at the time. "Hot shit!" I exclaimed when I realized this fact. I was already into poetry myself at the time so I decided that it would be a splendid idea to write the poem myself and then enter the contest under my sister's name. Before telling her what I planned to do I sent out the poem without her consent anyway, just in case she rejected the idea. Fortunately she was OK with it, but even if she wasn't, there's nothing that would have stopped her from accepting the throne of "The Cheesiest Kid in America." The prize for winning the contest was a chance to have your face appear on Kraft Macaroni & Cheese boxes across the country, and about $5,000 in scholarship money. The scholarship money was the real prize to me.

So as I brewed the homemade cheese for my delicious macaroni noodles that day, my mind began to concoct a poem that could make everyone know that my sister was indeed, the cheesiest.

When Art met Kraft

(circa 2006)
By Melanie

When people ask me why I’m the cheesiest,

I simply respond “It’s not the easiest”

Because sure, there’s lots of Mac brands to buy.

But when it comes to Macaroni, Kraft is the one that I will stand by.

My Kraft Macaroni is the food that matters only,

to me when it comes to what’s for supper.

Better than the leftovers stored in last night’s Tupper…

where, I can still see sitting in the fridge.

I just want a meal that’s meant for kids!

Kids like me who value quality pasta,

and one that’s great but won’t necessarily cost ya’.

I think the theme of the poem was "arts & crafts." Even for me that took a minute to register. And I wrote the damn thing! They must have known someone of higher intelligence wrote a piece like this. It's probably why they didn't give us the scholarship money and why I never saw my sister's face on thousands of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese boxes.

~Anthans